I Don’t Know Why I Swallowed A Fly
Courtesy of: Wiggles
Warning: The following contains graphic details which may not be suitable for insect conservationists/lovers.
I have to tell you all about my great day! There I was sleeping peacefully in my basket (everyone says that it is Victor’s basket but they are just saying that to be nice to the old guy – everyone really knows that it is MINE). Anyway, where were we? Oh yes, sleeping peacefully until I heard a buzzing noise, my ears twitched and I looked around to try and find the source. There it was! I spotted that little black housefly buzzing around the front desk, taunting me! I tilted my head to the side and watched it buzz around for a few moments hoping that it might come closer, but it was playing hard to get.
I jumped down from my perch and landed right in front of the bright screen the humans insist on staring at most of the day. I was apparently in the way of Kaila (one of my many slaves) who was trying to make the black rectangular thing in front of her click as she pressed the keys. She picked me up and set me off to the side. This was perfect, as the fly had come to rest on the edge of the desk. I crouched down, ready to go in for the kill. I pounced and missed, knocking some papers to the floor.
Then that silly fly was off again, buzzing around. I leapt gracefully into the air reaching my paws out to try and grasp it, but this wasn’t just any ordinary housefly, this one was skilled in escaping my clutches. I chased it around the room, diving and pouncing but the fly kept getting away from me. It finally landed on the floor, so we played the waiting game, the fly and I. I pretended that I had lost interest and groomed my paws while the fly sat there quiet and still, until it broke under the strain and took off again.
This time it was desperate and flew up to the window and crashed into it time and time again. I leapt to the window ledge (ignoring the crashing of insignificant objects as I scattered them to the floor). I had the fly now, he had no way out!
I chased him back and forth across the glass for a few moments until finally I knocked him on the head skillfully with one of my paws, stunning him. He fell to the window ledge buzzing slightly. I poked him with my paw, taunting him to try and get away from me again. He just lay there pathetically… he had given up.
I pretended I was disinterested again, just to see if he would try and escape. He buzzed a little bit more and tried to escape. I pounced on him again, both paws this time and held him there for a long moment. I slowly pulled one paw away to see that I had won the game, the fly had given up. He sat there buzzing, possibly with a broken wing, I decided it would only be fair of me to put him out of his misery so reached down and ate him. He was crunchy, and certainly didn’t taste as good as my normal treats – but I knew it was the right thing to do. Maybe next time a fly will think twice about buzzing around in my front office!